Life of Purpose

I know that it's been a long time since I updated my life, but I work in retail, and the holidays kicked my rear end. Now for the updates...Mark lost his job two weeks before Christmas, which was awful, but with me working so much it wasn't the end of the world. A few days later came the day the rocked my family.
My Aunt Judy is my dad's baby sister, our little family is incredibly close. She's always been a part of my life and even though she was my aunt and not my sister, we were really close. Well on this day, she had a wicked headache and didn't feel good. Finally sitting at her desk, she couldn't hold a pen anymore and called an ambulance. She had suffered a mild stroke but was still functioning. When the doctors did her CAT scans, they found a massive anuerism. She was life-flighted down here to Dallas where a surgery was scheduled to remove the bubble that could take her life. When her cranium was opened, the bubble burst and caused a horrible stroke on her left side. Her life was saved because they were already in her head. She was in an ICU clean unit, meaning no one could see her without scrubbing up first. And even then, she could only have a vistor one hour a day. So, we waited to see her until she was moved into a regular area of the hospital.
Today was the first day I've seen her since before her surgery. And while I hadn't cried, I am now. The amazing woman that I've known my whole life is gone. Replaced by hollow doppleganger with empty eyes and a dead left side. She was always the one who ralleyed and fought for us. She was the one we went to for fun and a general laugh. Today made me realize something incredible profound. This life is short and unpredictable and downright unfair sometimes. Judy was never able to have children, she had a complete hysterectomy at 20. I was the child she lived through. When my grandpa died, years ago, she moved in with my grandma to help her, to take care of her, to make sure she wasn't alone. Now, this responsibility is falling squarely on my father. He has selflessly given up his life and home to make sure that Mimi is cared for and that Judy has a safe and secure place to eventually come home to. More than anything, today took me back to two years ago...watching my mother...and it scared me.
I've been buying little pink things and little blue things for the friends having the babies. It seems that all around me, life goes on and babies are born and homes are made. But, today made me appreciate, once again, how quickly that can change. I came home and talked with Mark about what's going on and then just sat here in the quiet thinking.
Other than that, work is good. I'm getting a promotion at the end of the month, with more money and benefits. We're buying a couch. I'm cleaning out and throwing away all my leftover boxes of crap form when I moved. And I'm gathering wonderfully sweet little things to send to the friends I love. I have a good life. I'm grateful for it. I have a new appreciation of it. Maybe that's the lesson to be learned. Live every day on purpose. I here and now vow to love more, and laugh more, and live every second of my life with meaning and passion and purpose. Let's see what happens.