Decisions

Two posts in two days! What is the world coming to? Anyway...as I sit here in the peace of the night I can't help but daydream about my new place. It's teenie, just an efficiency, but it's bright and sunny and cozy. I have a generous friend who just about an hour ago called me and told me I could have her old furniture! It's not "old", she's just getting new stuff...so I get a full set for free, which is always the best way to get something like that. I couldn't thank her enough for her generosity and then I started to think...I made a decision some time ago. I made the decision for myself to be happy again and to regain some spiritual health. I haven't quite dusted off the old scriptures, but I catch myself talking to Heavenly Father more...which is a good thing. Then I realized that ever since I made the choice to leave here and this situation, everything is falling into place with the percision of a well thought-out puzzle piece...or maybe it's the blessing of a good choice. Here's the course of events...I decided to leave and that weekend my mom called me and told me there was a little apartment open in her area and it wouldn't be ready til the first of June, but if I wanted it, they'd hold it for me. Then some things happened at work and I lost a little of my excitement to be there everyday, which made the decision to leave a little easier. Then my dad mentioned that he would help with the expense of the UHaul and gas...then Mom mentioned that the Kid would be out of school and able to help move. Then Dad also mentioned that since my aunt is in a nursing home that I could have her bed (since mine was sold when I moved to Dallas). Then last weekend when we went home for Memorial Day weekend, I saw the cute little apartment, realized how much I missed my family and needed to be closer and knew that I was making the right choice. Then something else happened...we went to visit Mimi and Judy in the nursing home. We had stopped by the house to get some things they requested and the feeling of strangeness was overwhelming. It was spooky quiet and eerily sad in a house that was always so full of life and laughter and noise. I knew in that moment that I would never forgive myself if I was gone during the last part of their lives. I went the next day and signed a lease and turned in my two weeks notice. I haven't looked back from that point...and since, Mark's financial situation has turned back to the positive (less guilt in leaving now), Monkey sleeps soundly with me (good for when Mark's not around), Gary and Dad and Matthew and some others are all free to help move me next Saturday, I have furniture now, and lastly...I'm ready to actually have the spirit in my home...I need it with me for the first time in years. The anger has passed, the sadness is gone, and the optimism has returned. It's a glorious feeling to be ready for the next chapter. So...this decision is a good one and I can't wait to see what happens on the next page!